Conscius
by Greykeys
Summary: You don't know how it started, when, or why. All you know is that you're overly aware of every little detail, of her every little action, and you know that's not good. — FeMC & Yukari


Yes, this is indeed an **Fe**MC/Yukari. **Shoujo-ai/girl-love/Yuri. **(Much more **apparent** here) You've been **warned. **

* * *

><p><em>Stop it,<em>

She responds with only a tilt of her head to the side.

_Stop looking at me like that._

Her ruby eyes blink innocently at you, curiosity etched in those twinkling crimson.

_Just stop,_

Her lips were slightly pouted, as if daring you, egging you—_'try me'_ and your legs are shaking uncontrollably beneath the table. Your hands grip your knees tightly as your fingers begin to dig hard into your skin; it hurts. But you can't help it.

_Stop looking at me like that!_

You're heart is thumping hard against your chest, your breathing becoming noticeably shallow and you swallow audibly. Ugh, it's so dry.

"Yukari?"

Oh damn, she said your name and it's making your head fuzzy, all because of the_ way_ she said it. It was that sweet, caring and laced with quiet strength that's making your head spin. She's reaching for your face and she cups your cheek, slight worry and something else clouding those ruby eyes. Her close proximity is unbearable and it's literally taking all your will power to keep from jumping over the table and kissing this girl senselessly.

"I—" You curse under your breath, frustrated and undoubtedly embarrassed that you're stuttering like a love struck school girl, which you can't deny you aren't at the moment, "I'm f-fine! Totally fine!" Your voice squeaks the last few words, cheeks burning under that red gaze. All she does is smile, her breath tickling your lips and it's a sore reminder of just how close she is.

"Your hair is getting long," you gasp slightly as she moves a strand of ecru hair from your once covered eye, the erratic beats in your chest drumming against your ears; deafening. It's only now that you realize she's leaning over the table and the thought is making your cheeks burn. "it isn't good to have it hide your pretty face."

She is such a charmer.

But your body reacts anyway, air returning to your lungs as she leans back to her seat, content to just gaze at you. You fidget as your eyes dart back and forth between her carmines and her lips, wondering whether they're as soft as they look. It's only when the girl in front of you probe 'What?' that you realize with apprehension that you thought out loud. You want to cover your face with your hands because this must be the most humiliating moment in your entire life. But Hamuko just laughs and her warm hand snakes its way atop of yours beneath the table.

"It's no wonder," Hamuko says with mirth glistening in the depths of her ruby pools, "your eyes tend to fidget." And you force your mouth to stay shut. Her lips is spread to a grin and you just want to hide; better yet, bury yourself under a giant rock. How embarrassing.

"Sorry..." You apologize, ashamed and completely disgusted with yourself. A female shouldn't even feel like this with another to begin with. You feel like standing, to leave and do what you always tend to do; run away despite hating that very action and hoping that everything would go back to normal. But her grip on your hand is firm and you feel her give you a reassuring squeeze. "Hamuko?"

"Don't worry about it." Her smile still plastered brightly and her eyes shining merrily.

"Wha—"

"Because I'm quite flattered actually," you watch her stand, her hold on your hand gone but her print was left burning, lingering. "I'd love to know how your lips feel like too."

* * *

><p>Stupid rain.<p>

You shiver, rubbing your hands against your arms for warmth as you stand to wait for your ride. They said they'd be here in 20 minutes but how long has it been since they said that?

"Making me wait for a whole hour..." You grumble, teeth chattering from the cold and you blow air to your hands in an attempt to warm them up. Normally you'd stomp back to the dorm, but you're too far away to bother walking back.

"Forget it would rain today?" The water finally stops pouring over you and you look up, those ruby eyes smiling yet again and carrying that same compassion as always. You nod briskly, squeezing closer to her because it's cold and she's warm. You latch onto the collar of her jacket as she wraps an arm around your back, heat finally soothing your nerves. You let out a shaky breath against her covered neck, suddenly not minding that your classmates were late because this totally made up for it.

"Thanks..." Her response was holding you tighter.

"You're freezing." She states with a voice so sweet, laced with concern and you love how all the attention was focused on you; you're selfish like that. She unzips her jacket and covers you in them, your soaked clothes damping her orange sweater.

"Sorry," you say, voice slightly shaky as you nuzzle comfortably against the crook of her warm neck, "I'm making your clothes wet." Her chuckles give you goosebumps as she keeps you closer while maintaining the umbrella over the two of you.

"It's okay," her husky reply sends shivers down your spine and you most definitely know it isn't from the weather. "if it's to keep you warm, I don't mind."

What a charmer.

"Come on," Hamuko says as she ushers you forward, "we should get inside." You look up at her in confusion, brows knitted together as you stare at the pair of crimsons. Inside? The dorm?

"But the dorm's too far so—" And you catch her grin. That wicked grin. You gulp unknowingly with a skeptical expression. It was something in those carmines and you can't help but feel a little suspicious.

"Since when have I said we were going_ there_?" Your eyes widen considerably, anxious of what might be in store for you because usually, Hamuko always has something planned.

"Then..."

Was it a coincidence that Shirakawa Boulevard was a few blocks away? Hell, you were even surprised that they allowed two _girls_ in to begin with. Then again, the person who let you in the first place was a man and you doubt he was as decent as he looked; if that creepy smirk was any indication. Why did Hamuko pay for one room instead of two?

_'Oh, it's because I don't have enough money on me to pay for another.' _Yet she had _just enough_ to pay for one? Exact price. You're brain is currently going on a meltdown because it can't process all the implications, all the possibilities, all the opportunities that could happen and it's driving you nuts. Does Hamuko not know what people _do_ in this hotel? What it's known for? How could she not when they had a mission here few moons ago? Unless of course, she was really planning something, but what? Did Hamuko even roll that way? Does she even like you like that?

"You're turn Yukari-chan!" You jolt upright, head spinning fast towards the voice and just as quickly did you turn away when you noticed that she was only garbed in a towel. Damn, it's starting to get hot in here. "Yukari-chan?" You can't seem to erase the image of her in that tiny towel with her hair down and it's still wet and her face sparkling and her skin so flawless and— "Yukari?" And when you feel her moist hand touch your shoulder you twitch and stammer and make a fool out of yourself.

"I-I-I'm going! _I'm going_!" You honestly didn't mean to yell but you really don't want her to see your flushed face as you hurry towards the bathroom. Your heart won't stop thumping as Hamuko's muffled laughter reach your sensitive ears on the other side of the door. You groan at your own stupidity.

_Ugh, you're even starting to think dirty! How could you stoop this low? _You scold yourself inwardly as you paid half of your attention to Hamuko's shuffling feet across the doesn't help either when you're finally in the shower and all you can smell is Hamuko's own unique, individual scent despite the different shampoos and conditioner she normally uses —which in itself explains just how much you've paid every little detail to her. You grumble dejectedly as water continues to stream above you and you settle for watching it go down the drain. You smile wryly when you hear Hamuko's soft humming on the other side, waiting for you as she attempts to kill time. You chuckle and run your fingers through your soaked brown hair, joining along.

You're so undeniably and helplessly in love.

* * *

><p>When you finally turn the shower off and reach for a towel, you don't hear Hamuko's voice anymore. Getting another towel off a nearby rack, you wrap it around yourself as you dry your hair with the other. You assume she was asleep so you open the door quietly and chance a peek towards the bed. You were right and you can't stop the smile from covering your lips. Grabbing a change of clothes, you return to the bathroom and dress silently; hoping to avoid waking her.<p>

Coming out again you ponder what to do. She's sort of hogging the whole bed and it makes you chuckle, but that really doesn't matter to you since she looks so cute. You don't dare to move her so you settle sitting on the edge of the bed and freeze when you catch her shift under the change in elevation. She's groping the sheets, lids remaining closed and you giggle when her brows furrow.

"Yukari.." Your ears perk at your mentioned name and suddenly you're very attentive. Was she dreaming of you? "Hurry up and sleep with me." Oh the implications. You blush anyway though, unable to contain restricted thoughts. You know very well that you won't be getting much sleep tonight.

"No it's okay, I'll just—"

"Do you honestly want me to get up," you flinch when one red eye glares open at you; playfully, but still.. "and force you to lie on this bed?" Must she _always_ say things like that? Images won't stop popping up and they produce way too fast for you to do anything. Screwy hormones, they enhance every single sense. You comply (because you truthfully want to) and slide underneath the blankets; hesitantly and carefully to avoid any skin ship. It was inevitable though because Hamuko is sliding her arm around your waist and she's pulling you closer; your back against her chest as she spoons you. You inhale sharply when she nuzzles into the back of your neck, her breath tickling your skin as she sighs sleepily.

You don't_ dare_ to turn your head.

"H-Hamuko?"

You're shriveling up due to the _complete _lack of space between the two of you and it's killing you to feel her lips graze against your sensitive skin. You hold back a startled moan and yelp when those warm lips begin to move.

"You're so twitchy," butterflies are pooling in your stomach, moving and flying erratically about and your face is undoubtedly burning, "just sleep okay...?" _Easy for you to say, _you think as the drowsiness in her voice signals that she's on the verge of slumber. You force yourself to relax in her firm hold and your smile returns again when you hear her light snore. She's so cute and you're proud of being able to resist for this long. Painful, but you managed to pull through. Yet when you reach to rub your eyes for sleep, you find it moist and it seems to be the opposite.

Why are you crying?

It's because of all this hope, all these hints, all this evidence that's making you jumbled and confused; but she has _them. _Why are you even overreacting like this? Doesn't she have Akihiko and Shinjiro? And what about Aigis? You aren't that blind to see the obvious innocent and sweet attraction the robot has for Hamuko. Maybe that's why you were so irritable the time you saw her embracing Hamuko so possessively at Yakushima.

Hearing that Aigis wanted to be with her only added more fuel into the fire of your aching heart. It didn't help that Hamuko had a soft spot for the innocent robot. You're such a drama queen. You don't realize you're crying audibly now until you feel Hamuko trace invisible circles on your stomach.

"Shh.." You hear her whisper as she attempts to soothe your sudden outburst. You choke a sob and bury your face in your hands, trying to stop relentless tears.

"I-I'm s-sorry..!" You manage to gasp out, angry at yourself for being like this now, for being so helpless and weak and fragile, "I woke you up.." You're so damn burdensome. But all you feel is Hamuko shaking her head and holding you closer. You let out a bitter laugh, completely disappointed in yourself for being this way. You had plenty of one-sided love, so what's so different about this one? "I'm so weak, I'm such a crybaby, I'm such a-"

"Self-loathing doesn't suit you," she states quietly but firmly and it's enough to stop you from going on, "you're better than this." And she takes you by surprise when she plants a light kiss on the back of your neck. You shiver when she doesn't remove it, instead leaving trails of gentle caresses and whispers of sweet nothings as she reassures you that everything's okay. That everything is as it should be. That nothing's wrong.

"Hamuko..."

"It's hard y'know," you're taken aback when she turns you over—ever so gently so you can face her, "when you're all fragile and delicate." Her forehead touches yours and you've gone incredibly shy under her ruby gaze. She isn't taking her eyes off you and you glance away because it's so piercing; she's reading you.

"H-Hamuko,"

"Seeing you like this," and she's cupping your cheek, wiping the last few sets of fresh tears as she crosses the meagre gap. Her lips are barely touching yours but you can feel it; _so close._ "it's hard to resist kissing you." Your eyes flutter shut, and this was typically better than you could have ever imagined. Nothing compares.

It was sweet, reassuring, everything you don't deserve. You wonder briefly if this was how she would always kiss, so _careful_, because of how she's wiping away stray strands of your chest-nut hair, how her lips hover over the last few tears tenderly; kissing them away. When she pulls back and you open your eyes, you see her smile. You can't stop the blush from covering your cheeks.

"Wh-what?"

Her rich laughter envelopes the room and you can only attempt to glare at her. When her giggles finally subside, your heart start skipping beats again because of that look; that_ loving_ look.

"Tell me," she says as she touches your bottom lip, smoothing over them with her thumb, "are my lips as soft as they look?"

* * *

><p>Was disappointed to find out Yukari wasn't going to be a lover like in the original.<p> 


End file.
